


Hibernation

by Maiuzan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dating, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Past Injury, oh and there's a hamster, pet store au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiuzan/pseuds/Maiuzan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma has dropped out of college and feels like he’s stuck in life. However, when Kuroo advises him to get a pet, he meets an interesting boy at the pet store, and his world starts moving again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello guess who's back with a fic that involves animals!! 
> 
> (also don't worry, it has a happy ending)

“All done!” Shouyou took a step back to appreciate his work. The cardboard structure looked as steady as it could get, perfectly displaying this week’s discounted cat food. He gave the string dangling from the side a quick pull and was proud to see the giant cardboard cat’s ears move.

“Good work!” Suga appeared next to him, arms crossed over his apron. “Why don’t you take a break, Hinata?”

“Is it okay if I wait until the delivery is here? I don’t want you to strain your back lifting heavy things.” Shouyou grinned. To others it might have sounded as concern, but Suga knew that he was being teased. He was only a few years older than Shouyou, but he already owned his own store, something that Shouyou greatly admired.

“Oh, don’t give me that nonsense. I’m not that old.” Suga made a dismissive move with his hands and went back to the register.

The bell at the front door chimed, and Shouyou turned his head to look. Two guys, who were probably around his age, stepped inside. He spotted the tallest of the two first, his weird hairstyle hard to miss. The shorter one had blond hair loosely tied into a bun, with roots so dark that Shouyou knew it wasn’t his natural hair color. The guy nervously scanned the store, contrasting the taller man’s relaxed grin.

“Welcome!” Shouyou greeted them. The shorter of the two looked a bit startled as Shouyou appeared into view. Suga often told him that he shouldn’t sneak up on people, but he couldn’t help that he wasn’t taller than the top shelf. “Can I help you with something?”

The tall man, whose hair was so messy that Shouyou didn’t know if it was done on purpose or not, spoke as he pointed his thumb at the other, “This guy wants to buy a hamster.”

“Alright, do you already own a cage?” Shouyou directed his attention to the blond man who shook his head in response. For a second, Shouyou was distracted by his round cheeks, and the way they were flushed from the winter weather, but then he gathered himself again. “Okay, come with me, I’ll show you some.”

Shouyou led the way to their rodent section, and the others followed. It wasn’t his intention to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help himself, and heard the tall man suggest, “Kenma, you could still get a snake instead.”

“No,” said Kenma. Shouyou always liked learning his customer’s names; it made the sale a bit more personal.

“Just saying,” the tall guy mumbled.

Shouyou showed them around the cage section, and informed them about the possibilities. He saw how Kenma was eyeing a purple cage with more tubes than you could count on one hand, and said, “However fun those cages may seem, we strongly advise against them. We only have them because some people specifically ask for them. I’d recommend a glass one instead, without any steel bars or tubes.”

Kenma looked a bit bummed, but accepted it. Shouyou set them up with all the essentials, and asked them to come back for a hamster after they set up the cage at home.

At the register when Kenma fetched his wallet to pay, his friend pulled down the knitted hat Kenma was wearing to cover his eyes, and got out his own card instead. “There’s no way I’m letting you pay for this, Kenma.”

When Kenma lifted the hat from his eyes, Shouyou had already printed the receipt. Kenma pouted, but it disappeared when Shouyou smiled at him and said, “See you later!”

They left the store carrying a moderately sized glass cage, and three bags of bedding, food, and other stuff.

Shouyou hadn’t even noticed Suga standing next to him, and startled when his boss suddenly spoke to him. “A hamster huh? You want me to put a pricetag on you so he can take _you_ home instead?”

“Hmm, maybe we can offer a discount? Buy one, get one for free?” Shouyou grinned as Suga gaped at him. Normally, Shouyou would have pretended to be offended or flustered, but now there was no point in denying it;  Shouyou knew that it was obvious that he had been staring at Kenma.

“Gosh, please take your break now, you hormonal teenager.” Suga ruffled his hand through Shouyou’s hair, messing it up and pulling his blue bandana askew.

“I’m not a teenager, I’m already twenty one,” he scoffed as he untied his apron. He didn’t comment on the hormonal part, since he refused to let his conversations with Suga steer anywhere near that topic. Instead, he stalked off to the back to have lunch.

Shouyou always chose the small storage space, just out of sight from the customers, to have his lunch. While he ate, he could still hear Suga rustling papers at the register and the animals making noises at the far end of the store. Listening to all the sounds prevented him from spacing out and forgetting about the time, which happened a lot when he was tapping away on his phone. This time, however, he needed no help to keep him focused. Every time the bell at the door chimed, he stuck his head out of the room to see if Kenma had returned. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen.

A half hour before closing time, Shouyou was beginning to lose hope, but then the door opened again. Kenma stood in the open door, all wrapped up in a large winter coat, and this time he came alone.

“Please close the door, it’s cold as balls!” Suga yelled from the back, probably thinking it had been Shouyou who opened it, and it startled Kenma. Shouyou stepped away from his tower of dog food cans and greeted him, “Hi, I’m sorry about that. You ready to pick out your little friend?” Shouyou winced at how stupid that question sounded after he said it.

Kenma nodded and didn’t look bothered by it, so Shouyou lead him to the hamsters. “Did everything work out with the cage?” he asked.

“Yeah, wanna see?” Kenma pulled out his phone from somewhere deep in his coat pocket, and showed him a couple of pictures. Shouyou was impressed, they’d really made a cosy home out of it.

“I think the hamster will love it. Have a look around.” He left Kenma to his own devices as he did a final check on all the animals’ water bottles.

After a few minutes, he thought he’d lost him, but then found Kenma squatted down in front of a cage, staring at a hamster with bright orange hair. “That’s a Syrian hamster, it’s a boy. You like him?” He crouched down next to him, and was just in time to see the hamster stretch and yawn. Kenma smiled at that and nodded. Shouyou looked at the small smile on his face and suddenly felt a bit unstable on his feet. “I’ll go get a box for him.”

When he stood up from his crouch, he could feel his right knee protest fiercely. “Shit,” he hissed.

Kenma looked up at him. “You okay?”

“Yes, it’s nothing. The owner’s old age must be contagious.” He waved it off with his hand, but checked with his other hand if his knee brace was still in the right place. It hadn’t moved, so he just ignored the pain as he grabbed a box for the hamster.

The little animal was still a bit sleepy, so he didn’t protest as Shouyou lifted him out of the cage. He gave Kenma some tips about feeding and petting, and sent him off with a new pet and a wish of goodnight.

As the shop’s door closed, Shouyou realized that it would probably be a long time before he’d see Kenma again.

“You should have asked his number,” Suga said, as he passed him to lock up the door.

Shouyou sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

Kenma slowly opened his eyes to a sound he hadn’t heard before. A soft whirring of metal working against wood had woken him up. He moved his sheets a bit and rolled to his side to see where it came from, and quickly found the culprit. On his desk, the hamster was running around in his wheel like he was at the Olympics. Kenma stared, and envied the amount of energy the little creature seemed to possess. After running one way for a while, the animal came to a quick stop, and started running the other way. This went on and on and on, and Kenma found it to be quite hypnotizing. He drifted on the edge of sleep for a while, but startled awake at a knock at his door.

How long had he been staring? From the light shining through under his curtains he guessed it was still before noon, but he didn’t want to check his phone to see if that was true. Rather, he didn’t want to know how much time he’d already wasted in his bed. “Yes?” he asked, with a hoarse voice.

The door opened and Kuroo peaked his head inside. “Hey. I made breakfast.”

Kenma didn’t think he would be able to get a single bite of food in, so he just hummed in response.

Kuroo came inside and squatted in front of the desk, peering into the cage. “He’s an energetic one, isn’t he? You should open the curtains and let some light in so he doesn’t get confused about day and night.” Kuroo put his finger on the glass, and the hamster halted and came to check it out. He chuckled as the hamster followed his finger across the glass, but dropped his hands when the hamster went back to his wheel. “Come on Kenma, you gotta eat some time.”

Kenma pulled his blankets over his face so Kuroo couldn’t see him rolling his eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

“I worked really hard on these pancakes, don’t make me eat all of them by myself.” Kenma realized Kuroo was trying to guilt trip him into eating, meaning that he was getting desperate. He hated that it was working, because he couldn’t say no to Kuroo, not when he was already taking such good care of him. Kuroo left the room, and Kenma knew he would wait for him before eating.

With great effort, he pushed all the layers of fabric off him and made his way to the kitchen. Kuroo had already stacked his own plate with an impressive amount of pancakes, but had put only one on Kenma’s plate. His standards were dropping by the day.

Kenma sat down, poured himself some tea, and listened to Kuroo talk about stuff that happened at college that week. He lathered his pancake with syrup and used his fork to play with it.

“Speaking of college, the application deadline for next year’s classes is coming closer, any chance you’ll be filling in those forms soon?” Kuroo asked while sipping on his coffee.

Kenma stabbed his pancake. “I’m working on it.”

Kuroo put his coffee down and sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to push you, but–,”

“Then don’t push me!” Kenma didn’t know if he’d ever raised his voice to Kuroo before, and the look on the Kuroo’s face confirmed that he hadn’t. But he was too angry to feel guilty about that right now. “Thanks for the food.” He stood up and pushed his chair out of the way. While he stormed off to his room, he could hear Kuroo say something about how he hadn’t even touched his pancake, but that didn’t matter.

He slammed the door behind him and immediately found what he was looking for. In the corner of his room, buried under some dirty clothes, were the application forms. He crumpled them up and angrily shoved them into the trash bin under his desk.

The hamster, who had been trying to sleep, startled at the noise. Kenma felt guilty for making such a ruckus and waking him. He took a few calming breaths and then realized that he shouldn’t have lashed out like that, especially not when Kuroo had only meant well. “Sorry,” Kenma whispered, to both the hamster and Kuroo. He retrieved the papers from the trash, shoved them under a pile of clothes again, and went back to bed.

 

* * *

 

On Mondays, business had always been slow, but this particular snowy Monday took the cake. Shouyou yawned as he went through the aisles for the umpteenth time to set everything straight, finding that everything was still in place, since there had been no customers since Shouyou’s last round. He was thinking about convincing Suga to let him hand out coupons on the streets to lure some customers in, when he heard the bell at the door.

He practically skipped to the entrance to greet the customer, but stopped in his tracks when he saw that it was Kenma. He was wearing a hoodie that was way too big for him, making him look fragile underneath it. Strands of hair had escaped from his bun and stuck to his wet face. Kenma quickly closed the door behind him, and stomped his feet to get some snow of his boots.

“Welcome,” Shouyou said, with pain in his voice. Despite Kenma’s layers of clothes, he was shivering, and it hurt Shouyou to watch. He wanted to wrap him up in warm blankets, put him by a fire place, and bring him hot cocoa. Shouyou felt a bit silly to be having such a fantasy about a stranger, and felt even more silly for feeling his heart flutter. Suga called him a romantic often, and now Shouyou started to believe that he was right.

“I’m looking for some hamster snacks,” Kenma interrupted Shouyou’s thoughts.

“Ah!” Shouyou clasped his hands together. “We have those, follow me.” He quickly led Kenma to another aisle. When Kenma looked at the variety of snacks they offered, Shouyou studied his profile. His nose was fair, as were the rest of his features. The thin but dark eyebrows, that betrayed his natural hair color just like his roots did, were furrowed as he studied the back of one of the snack packages. Shouyou knew that the polite thing to do was to leave his customer alone to chose, but being who he was, he spoke again before thinking, “Did you give him a name yet?”

“No.” Kenma looked up and glanced at Shouyou’s name tag. He asked, “What’s your first name?”

“It’s Shouyou,” he answered, surprised. He didn’t expect this sudden forwardness and it made him feel something new. With excitement he realized that he had misjudged Kenma’s level of shyness.

“Hm.” Kenma nodded and brought his eyes back to the products.

Shouyou decided to leave him to it. He retreated to the register, where Suga raised an eyebrow at him. Fearing that Suga might tease him, he said, “You can go take your break now, I’ll take it from here.” Suga also raised his other eyebrow.

Suga had already left, albeit with some protesting, by the time Kenma came to the register. Shouyou sent him on his way with way too many snacks for one hamster, the brightest smile he could manage, and a, “Hope to see you again soon!”

Kenma nodded and waved at him, the corner of his lip curling upwards in a smile, small enough to be easily missed. Shouyou didn’t miss it.

 

* * *

 

Kenma sat on his bed with his knees pulled up, replaying one of his favorite games on his PSP, when he heard his friend say, “Knock knock.”

The door had already been open, so Kuroo stood leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in front of him. Kenma would have been annoyed by the disturbance if he hadn’t played the game a thousand times already.

Kuroo invited himself inside and walked up to the desk, probably to see if Kenma had already filled in his forms. Kenma had cleverly hid them out of sight, so all Kuroo was left with on the desk was the hamster. He leaned down to peer into the cage, and after a short search found it where it had been all day, cooped up and asleep in his little hamster house. “You have a name for him yet?”

“Shouyou,” Kenma answered as he pretended to still be focused on his game just as Kuroo was pretending he came here to look at the hamster.

After a few minutes of silence between them, Kuroo turned to Kenma and said, “Your mom called. Said she couldn’t reach you.”

So that what he was really here for. Kenma paused his game. “I don’t wanna talk to her. Not yet.”

Kuroo looked at him, as if he was hoping that Kenma would elaborate on the subject, but after a moment he gave up. “I understand. I’ll call her back and come up with something.”

Instead of leaving, Kuroo kneeled down on the floor and started folding some of Kenma’s clean clothes. “You know, I finished all my homework. We could order some food and play videogames until we pass out on the couch.” He grinned at Kenma, seeming eager to have a good time together.

“Sounds good,” he said, and Kuroo’s grin widened. Kenma hoped this would somehow make up for his angry outburst a few days earlier. He knew that Kuroo didn’t want or need an apology for what he did, but he couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

Kenma toed into his winter slippers and followed Kuroo into the living room. They ordered a pizza, and Kenma managed to eat an entire slice while he was distracted by a video game’s cutscene.

After a few hours, he defeated Kuroo a bit too easily, and looked to his side and found that he had fallen asleep with his controller on his face. Knowing how heavy Kuroo was, Kenma did not even consider carrying him to his bed. Instead, he threw a blanket over both of them.

From his room, he heard the hamsterwheel begin to spin. He remembered how Kuroo had suggested that he should get a pet. He had rambled on and on about the positive effects that taking care of animal could have on someone in Kenma’s situation. If it would actually help him, Kenma didn’t know, but he was grateful for it nonetheless. He thought back to his first visit to the petshop, and then today’s visit. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep while thinking about orange hair.

 

* * *

 

“Hinata, he’s here again,” Suga whispered into the storage room.

Of course Shouyou knew who he meant, so he put his bento away, and cut his break short. He checked his face in his phone’s front camera for traces of his lunch, and casually strode back into the shop

And indeed, there he was, flipping through a book on owl behavior. He wore his hair down today, and Shouyou was surprised that it wasn’t as long as he had guessed, just barely touching his shoulders.

“Did he eat all of his snacks already?” Shouyou asked as he walked up to him. He almost tripped as Kenma looked up from the book and gave him that small smile again.

“No, I’m just here to browse today.” His gaze shifted from him to Suga, who was pretending not to eavesdrop, and then back to Shouyou. “And to procrastinate,” he admitted.

Shouyou threw Suga a look, but it had no effect, so he focused on Kenma again. “Ah, school?” he asked.

“Something like that.” Kenma shut the book and looked at the price on the backside. “I’m gonna buy this for my roommate.”

“He has an owl?” Shouyou suddenly worried for the hamster’s safety.

“No,” Kenma answered without any further explanation, but from the look on his face Shouyou guessed it must be some kind of inside joke.

Suga had conveniently left the register, so Shouyou went behind the counter and Kenma handed him the book from the other side. “So, how’s the hamster?” he asked as he scanned the barcode.

“Energetic. He runs a lot. You should see it.” Kenma handed him two bills.

Shouyou felt a rush of nerves at that opportunity. He looked around to see if Suga was still out of earshot, and asked, “Maybe if I give you my number, you can send me a video?”

Kenma looked surprised, but regained his composure after a second. “Yeah. Sure.”

Shouyou grabbed two sticky notes for them to write down their numbers. He then realized that he wasn’t even supposed to know Kenma’s name yet, so he asked, “Under what name can I save your number?”

“Kozume Kenma. But please just call me Kenma,” he answered casually.

So it had been his first name all this time. Shouyou felt a bit happy that he was allowed to use the name out loud now, and said, “Then I’ll be looking forward to your message, Kenma.”

He waved at Kenma when he left the store and followed him with his eyes down the street until he was out of sight. The hand on his shoulder startled him so much that he yelped. “I’m proud of you, Hinata. That was smooth,” Suga spoke behind him.

“You were listening?” Shouyou leaned on the counter to recover from the scare.

“I have good ears,” and then in a serious tone, “Please continue your break now. I saw you limping.”

 

* * *

 

As soon as Shouyou closed the door of his apartment behind him, he regretted taking the stairs instead of the elevator. He stepped out of his shoes with effort and grabbed one  of his ice packs from the freezer. Once he was installed on the couch, he put a pillow under his knee and the ice on top of it. “I never learn,” he said to himself.

Irritated, he saw that the remote control was on top of the television and out of reach, so he retrieved his phone from his pocket and dialed the first number in his most recent calls.

_“Nii-chan!”_ Natsu’s voice sounded from the other end of the line.

“Hey, am I interrupting something?” He heard some shuffling and footsteps, as if Natsu was running through the house just like Shouyou used to do.

_“No, actually, you saved me. Mom was nagging about something, I don’t even remember what it was.”_ Shouyou heard the sound of a door slamming shut.

Shouyou clicked his tongue. “Be nice to mom, okay? I’m sure she had good reasons.”

Being the teenager she was, Natsu dramatically sighed, but then spoke again, _“Yeah, yeah. So, what’re you up to?”_

Shouyou smiled. He missed his family. When Kageyama moved to Tokyo, Shouyou had chased after him, even though he knew he no longer had the ability to catch up to him. It still hurt not to see Natsu every day, but at least they had their phones.

They talked about all sorts of stuff, school, Natsu’s new classmate, and eventually the topic landed on boys, as it always did with Natsu. Shouyou was worried about it, but he tried not to be the overprotective older brother. Natsu had a crush on someone else every week, but as far as Shouyou knew, she hadn’t asked anyone out yet.

_“So what about you, nii-chan? Any luck with the boys?”_ she asked, voice as chirpy as ever.

Shouyou chuckled. “You say that as if I’m actively trying to get lucky.”

Natsu snorted. _“Aren’t you?”_

“No, it’s not like that,” he said, and after a moment of hesitation, “I do have my eyes on some–” before he could finish the sentence, Natsu was already squealing into his ear. He pulled the phone away to save his hearing, and waited for her to finish.

After she was done, he told her about Kenma as detailed as he could, but of course it wasn’t elaborate enough for her. She was disappointed to hear that Kenma was not as tall as Kageyama, or that he did not have a Hollywood jawline and bedroom eyes, whatever that was. Despite all of that, she was happy for her brother, and Shouyou couldn’t help but smile. He had been so lucky to be born into a family that accepted him for who he was.

He felt his phone buzz against his ear, and remembered that he had given Kenma his number. His heart jumped at the anticipation of a message from him. “Natsu, I have to go now. Talk to you tomorrow!” They said their goodbyes and hung up, and he was surprised to see that he had two unread messages. Both were from Kenma.

The first was a short video of the hamster running in his wheel. Shouyou watched it a second time, and then noticed that he could see Kenma’s reflection in the glass of the cage. He replayed it a few more times.

The second message only said: ‘he’s noisy.’

He typed out his first message to Kenma, and the pain in his knee was long forgotten.

 

* * *

  

Kenma jumped a bit when his phone buzzed next to him on the bed. Incoming phone calls or messages always hit him with a flare of anxiety. But this was Shouyou, he said to himself, so it was okay. When he reached for his phone, another message came in. And another.

The first was only a large set of exclamation marks. The second was a paragraph about how cute the hamster was, with lots of spelling errors and emoji. Kenma covered his mouth with his hand, hiding his smile behind it.

The third one, however, made Kenma nervous.

_‘Kenma, how r u?’_

What should he tell him? He could tell him he had felt anxious about texting him? That he still hadn’t done his laundry and that he couldn’t even feel bad about it anymore? That he tried to eat cereal for lunch, but it tasted like nothing, so he emptied it in the sink after a few bites? Or that he had been thinking about Shouyou all day?

_‘I’m ok.’_ was what he decided on.

Kenma tossed the phone to the side and pulled his knees up. He then realized that he needed to ask Shouyou how he was doing, if he wanted to keep the conversation going. But there was no need for that. He had already gotten another message from him.

It turned out that Shouyou was as easy to talk to through texting, as he was in real life. Effortlessly, he kept the conversation going between them, and somehow it made Kenma feel at ease. He didn’t have to try so hard with Shouyou.

“Well, someone looks excited.” Kenma promptly dropped his phone as Kuroo spoke. He hadn’t even heard him come home, much less appear in his doorway. “You got a new game?” Kuroo asked.

On the sheets, his phone vibrated again. Kenma knew that Kuroo couldn’t possibly read what was on the screen from where he was standing, but he still felt a bit embarrassed about it. He felt his cheeks warm up, and unfortunately, Kuroo didn’t miss that.

“Oh, I see how it is. I’ll leave you to it.” But it didn’t seem like he was leaving just yet. He smirked and said, “If you need some tips on flirting, I’ll be in the living room.”

“I’m not flirting with anyone.” Kenma averted his eyes, fighting the urge to throw his pillow at Kuroo’s smirking face.

“You are.” The confidence in Kuroo’s voice made Kenma wonder if his face was really that easy to read.

“Am not,” he murmured.

At that, Kuroo walked off to the living room, but again said, “You are,” loud enough for Kenma to hear.

Kenma slid off his bed and closed his door, after yelling another ‘Am not.’ after him.

Shouyou’s last message read: ‘gotta go to bed now. i have work tomorrow!’

Kenma was disappointed that their conversation had to end, and realized that he hadn’t felt something like that in a long long time.

He wished Shouyou goodnight, and tried to sleep as well. He ran his mind to find any good reason to visit the pet store again, but decided that seeing Shouyou again was reason enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your kudos and lovely comments <3
> 
> (warning: there's homophobia in this chapter)

Despite the snow and fierce wind, Kenma walked to the store again, albeit slow and careful. He shivered against the snowflakes that fell in his neck, but the thought of seeing Shouyou’s smile soon warmed him up again.

When he pushed open the door of the store, he was greeted by an unfamiliar face. The man said, “Welcome,” and flashed him a polite smile, but much to Kenma’s relief, didn’t offer to help him. 

He strode past him further into the store, his eyes scanning for a sight of orange hair.

“He’s not here today.” The voice made Kenma startle. His hair, wet from snow, was stuck to the sides of his face, so he hadn’t seen the store owner appear next to him. When Kenma didn’t immediately respond, the man said, “You’re looking for Hinata, right? He called in sick this morning.” He smiled kindly at Kenma. It wasn’t just a customer friendly smile, but something more fond. It made Kenma a bit nervous. He averted his eyes to the man’s nametag. 

“Should I tell him you dropped by?” Sugawara offered.

Kenma shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”

“You look a bit pale. Did Asahi frighten you?” Sugawara pointed past Kenma at the other employee.

Kenma looked back at the tall man at the front of the store. His hair was tucked in a bun, just like Kenma’s, and he appeared to be around the same height as Kuroo. Even though he didn’t know that they were looking at him, he had a relaxed smile on his face. Kenma didn’t understand why Sugawara thought he might have been intimidated by him.

“No, it’s just the cold weather.” He quietly, but politely, wished them both a nice day and stepped back into the snow. 

He quickly texted Shouyou a ‘get well soon’ and shoved his phone together with his hands in his pockets. Annoyed, he noticed that it was already late in the afternoon, meaning the sun would go down soon, and then it would be even colder. He shivered again. 

His phone rang in his pocket, and he almost muted it out of habit. However, he didn’t hesitate to pick it up when he saw who it was. “Hello?”

_ “Kenma! Are you doing anything right now?”  _ Shouyou asked. Kenma noticed how he sounded younger over the phone.

“No. And I don’t have any plans,” Kenma answered. It wasn’t exactly true, because he did have plans. Plans of relaxing in a warm bed while playing video games. But he had a slight hope that Shouyou might ask him to–

_ “Do you wanna come over? I’m bored!”  _ Shouyou whined. 

Kenma’s stomach dropped. Normally, he wouldn’t even consider going to someone’s house when they’d just met. Especially not someone who he had been thinking about a little too often. But somehow, Shouyou made decisions a bit easier for Kenma. He had something about him, maybe it was an air of positivity, that pulled Kenma towards him. After years of saying no to everything, it made Kenma want to say yes.

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I want to come over.” He vaguely heard a cheer on the other end of the line, but the sound of the wind chasing around his ears muffled the sound. He hugged his coat tighter around himself, and worried about catching the flu, and then he remembered. “Wait, is it okay for me to come over? Aren’t you sick?”

Shouyou chuckled.  _ “No, I’m not sick. I just can’t walk.” _

 

* * *

 

Shouyou had sent him his address in a text after they hung up, and Kenma found that it was close to the pet store. He nervously fiddled with his hands as he rode the elevator up to the fifth floor of the building. Shouyou’s apartment was at the very end of the hallway, giving Kenma even more time to be nervous about the situation. 

After a few minutes of stalling, he knocked on the door. From inside he could hear shuffling and a quiet swearword. The door swung open and Shouyou smiled at him as if nothing was wrong. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Kenma said. Shouyou stepped, or more like hopped, to the side to let him in, and closed the door behind him. As kenma pulled his feet out of his boots, he looked around the small apartment. 

His first impression was: bright. Despite the sunlight outside getting scarcer by the minute, it looked like it was midday inside. A collection of mismatched thrift shop furniture gave the space more personality than Kenma had ever seen. At the far end of the room, plants were gracing the windowsill in finger painted pots. 

Kenma was distracted by his surroundings, and didn’t notice the plastic bags on the floor until he tripped on them. Shouyou caught him by his shoulder before he could topple over. “I’m sorry about that, I still need to put these away. My friend Kageyama brought me all this food when I told him I was staying home today, but he didn’t stick around long enough to help me with the bags. Famous athletes have busy lives.” Shouyou laughed, but it had a bitter edge, and Kenma wondered why.

Now Kenma noticed that Shouyou’s right leg wasn’t touching the floor, but hovering a bit above it. He had his knee bent and all of his weight placed on his other leg. “I’ll carry them to the kitchen. Are you okay?” Kenma asked.

“It’s just my knee. I strained it a bit too much yesterday. It’s an old injury, so I’m used to it.” Shouyou smiled at him reassuringly.

Kenma carried the bags to the small open kitchen, and set them on the counter. Shouyou came hopping and put the food away. Kenma offered to help with that as well, but Shouyou refused. “There’s nothing wrong with my hands. If you want, you can make yourself comfortable on the couch.” 

Reluctantly, he left Shouyou in the kitchen, and settled on the bright yellow couch. Eventually, Shouyou came shuffling over with two cups of tea in his hands. Kenma could barely watch, because he was scared he was gonna drop them with the way he was walking, but Shouyou had said that it wasn’t a problem, so he didn’t say anything about it. 

He set the cups down on the small table at Shouyou’s side of the couch and sat down next to Kenma. For a second, he looked a bit conflicted, and said, “I need to put my leg up.” 

“I can sit over there.” Kenma pointed at the recliner across the room.

“Or,” Shouyou started, “I could use your lap.”

Instead of a joking or challenging grin, Shouyou’s smile was tentative, as if he was testing how far he could go with Kenma. Kuroo often used Kenma’s lap as a pillow, but that was different. But then again, he was on the couch of someone he had only known for a week, so in the trend of doing daring new things, he said, “Sure.”

Nerves fluttered through his veins as Shouyou carefully put his legs on his lap. For a second, Kenma didn’t know where to put his hands, but Shouyou saved him by handing him his tea.

Kenma looked around the apartment again while he sipped on his tea, and noticed something, or rather, a lack of something. “You don’t have any pets?”

“I have enough pets at the store, don’t you think?” Kenma dared to glance at Shouyou and saw him looking back at him over his tea cup with interest. “So, do you go to college?” Shouyou asked, probably not knowing what impact that exact question had on Kenma.

He breathed in the steam rising up from his tea, and said, “No, not right now. I used to, but I took a break. I might go back when the next year starts.” He stared into his cup, hoping that Shouyou didn’t notice how tense he suddenly was.

But apparently he did, because he didn’t ask about Kenma’s major or the reason he quit. Instead he asked, “So, what do you do from day to day then? Do you have a job?” which was even worse than the previous question.

As a teenager, he never took any shame in lazing around and doing nothing, but that was different now. His teachers, Kuroo, his mother, everyone around him made him feel like being productive was some kind of virtue. In the past, his lack of interest in participating in anything made him almost invisible. Now, as an adult, it made him stand out. 

He considered lying. Kuroo never saw through his lies, and if he did, he didn’t let is show. But this was Shouyou, someone who noticed the slight change in tension just a minute before. Someone who he wanted to know him for who he was. So he told the truth. “I don’t have a job. I play video games and I sleep a lot. That’s all there is,” he confessed.

Kenma was suddenly very aware of the weight of Shouyou’s legs on him, trapping him on the couch. He felt like he had overshared, like Shouyou might be weirded out by him. The sound of his heart beat in his ears. Thinking of Shouyou having a bad impression of him made him feel the edges of panic rising up in his chest. Somewhere behind him was the door, but if he wanted to leave, he’d have the force Shouyou’s legs off him, and that might hurt him. 

Shouyou must have noticed something change in his composure, because he leaned forward and lightly tapped on Kenma shoulder. With effort, Kenma met his face and saw Shouyou’s gentle smile. “Tell me more about those video games, I could use some recommendations.”

And with that, only that smile, Kenma felt his body relax. The tension in his shoulders eased, and he was no longer ready to run off. 

They talked like they had been friends for years.

Kenma told him all about his games, and Shouyou listened to everything he said. He asked questions, and got excited with Kenma about things he’d never even heard of. Talking with someone who was genuinely interested in something he liked had him feeling something he had never felt before, but he couldn’t quite place it. He felt like he could truly act like himself for once. With Kuroo, he had grown into it, through years and years of being together and Kuroo always seeing him for who he was. This was something else. This was Shouyou peeling the layers and layers of that hardened shell of self protection off him with each smile.

They got so lost in conversation that they forgot about the time, but the growl of Shouyou’s stomach reminded them that it was getting late. “I should start cooking,” Shouyou started and then asked, “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Kenma looked at the legs on his lap. “Can you even cook like this?”

“I can if you pass me the ingredients.” Shouyou grinned and that’s all the convincing Kenma needed.

Shouyou hopped off to the kitchen, and Kenma quickly texted Kuroo. At first, his best friend responded with disbelief, then teasing, but lastly encouragement. Kenma groaned, because he knew he could expect an interrogation later that night. 

“Kenma! I need something from the fridge,” Shouyou called from the kitchen, and Kenma left the couch as well. 

Kenma washed the vegetables, Shouyou cut them, and together they created a simple stir fry. It felt good to be making something with Shouyou, and Kenma could feel a small smile form on his face. When the food was ready and served, Kenma emptied his plate for the first time in a long while.

 

* * *

 

“You look happy,” Suga noted, as he was tying his apron. Shouyou was back at work and they were about to open. It always felt a bit weird to come back after being gone for a day, like everything had been moved slightly out of place in his absence.

“Are you gonna ask me why I’m happy?” Shouyou asked, as he fixed the bandana in his hair.

“I don’t have to, because you’re about to tell me, aren’t you?” Suga grinned as he walked up to the front to unlock the shop’s door. He pulled on the door to see if it had really unlocked, and the cold wind came blowing in. Suga slammed the door shut again and shivered. 

“Yesterday, Kenma came to my house and stayed for dinner.” Shouyou said. He left Suga to come up with a witty or teasing reply and grabbed the old broom from the back of the store. 

When he came back, Suga was standing with his arms crossed. “You’re serious about him. I haven’t even been to your house yet.”

Shouyou laughed at that. It wasn’t as if no one was allowed in his house, but it was true that it didn’t happen often. “Well, when do you wanna visit? Tonight?”

“Hinata, you’re avoiding what I said.” Suga’s look was stern as he spoke, but Shouyou knew there was no real threat behind it. 

Shouyou sighed. “Of course I’m serious, Suga. I don’t fool around.

Suga dropped his arms. “I’m happy for you then. And I promise that the next time he drops by here, I’ll only tease you a little bit.” Shouyou hoped that was true, but the cheeky grin on Suga’s face told him otherwise.

 

* * *

 

Kenma wasn’t surprised when his phone went off for the third time in a row, but he was surprised that he was actually considering picking up. How long had it been since they talked? Six months? Seven months? He let it ring until it stopped.

On his desk he saw Shouyou the hamster stuff his mouth with sunflower seeds, very much like he had seen Shouyou stuff himself with food a few nights earlier. Thinking of Shouyou filled him with a bit of confidence, and when his phone rang again, he picked up.

“Hello mom,” he said, sounding as disinterested as he could possibly manage.

He fought the urge to end the call as soon as he heard her voice. _ “Hello Kenma. You’ve been ignoring my calls.” _

“I have,” he simply answered.

_ “It’s good that you don’t lie about that, unlike your friend.”  _ Kenma felt his chest tense at the mention of Kuroo. She had never liked him, and hearing her talk about him, made Kenma feel sick.  _ “Have you decided to go back to college yet?” _

“Yes, I’ve registered for classes,” he lied.

_ “That’s good to hear, sweetie. Oh, and you’ve had so much free time this year. Have you perhaps tried to date some girls?”  _ she asked.

Kenma wondered how someone could speak such venomous words in such a gentle voice. “Mom,” he warned. As his grip tightened on his phone, he could feel that his hands were sweating. 

_ “Oh, don’t be silly. One can hope right? You aren’t still mad at me, are you? I mean, I might have overreacted a bit when you told me about your–”  _ she paused, as if she was looking for words,  _ “your state of confusion. I’m still hoping for some grandchildren, you know?” _

Overreacted a bit. That’s what she called it. Telling your son that he was a failure and a mistake was a bit of an overreaction. She told him that his choices in life were revulsing. That night, when he confided in her, she had grabbed his wrist so tightly that the fear of his bones breaking was the only thing that could distract him from her painful words.

When he spoke again, he pushed his voice not to break, and said it with finality. “Goodbye.” 

He hung up and blocked her number. “Goodbye,” he said again, and he knew that it might be goodbye forever.

Kuroo. He needed Kuroo. His hands were shaking so badly, that he needed more than one try to select his number. When Kuroo didn’t pick up, he realized that he was still in the middle of his tutoring session.  _ Shit.  _

Kenma felt his head float, only then realizing that his breaths were coming in short. He cursed his mother for having this effect on him. He needed something, someone, to distract him from it all. To make him feel that his mother’s words were all lies. To make him feel like he  _ was _ worth something.

He called Shouyou.

He picked up almost immediately.  _ “Hey, Kenma! What’s–” _

“Can you please come over. I’ll text you the address.” Kenma felt selfish for not even asking if Shouyou was busy, but somewhere he knew that he would come even if he had plans.

Shouyou had probably heard the strain in his voice, and didn’t bother to ask if something was wrong.  _ “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” _

By the time the doorbell rang, Kenma had managed to regulate his breathing. Unfortunately, that was the only thing he achieved. He was still shaking, sweating, and feeling incredibly powerless. 

He opened the door, and on the other side stood Shouyou, smile shining brightly as ever. Knowing that he was no longer alone, Kenma let out a sigh of relief. Shouyou was waiting for Kenma to invite him inside, his cheeks red and hair sticking to his forehead. “I came on my bike, as fast as I could,” Shouyou answered the question he saw in Kenma’s eyes.

“But your knee–,” Kenma started.

Shouyou dismissed it quickly with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

Kenma let Shouyou inside, and walked back to his room, expecting Shouyou to follow. He needed to be in the place where he felt most comfortable, and that happened to be his own room. The curtains were closed as usual, and stuff was scattered all over the floor. In any other situation he would at least have cleared the floor and opened the window to air it out, but right now, he couldn’t care less. 

Shouyou stepped into his room, leaving the door open behind him, and didn’t even glance at the mess. Shouyou carefully watched him as Kenma sat down on his bed, but then the hamster caught his attention. “Hey little fella,” he said, as he bent down to look into the cage. 

Kenma watched Shouyou’s back as he talked to the hamster. Shouyou praised the way he had built a bed from the sawdust and how many seeds he could fit in his cheeks, all in a way as if the hamster could talk back to him at any second. Kenma felt the shakiness of his fingers grow less and less persistent.

Shouyou slowly turned around and asked, “You sounded a bit upset over the phone. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” answered Kenma, truthfully, because he knew Shouyou wouldn’t pry.

“Want to listen to me talk?” Shouyou suggested as sat himself down on Kenma’s desk chair.

“Yes. That would be nice.” Kenma pulled up his knees and hugged them close as Shouyou started to talk.

He rambled on and on. Kenma didn’t catch all of it, sometimes his thoughts slipped back to his mother, but the sound of Shouyou’s high-pitched laughter brought his attention back every time. He gossiped about his boss’ crush on their part-timer, about his best friend’s obsession with milk, and about his sister’s dating adventures. Somewhere along the way, Kenma engaged and asked questions, even laughed at Shouyou’s jokes.

The slam of the front door brought both of them back to reality. “Kenma!” The voice grew louder as Kuroo came closer to the room, “I have twelve missed calls from your–” Kuroo stopped in the doorway as he caught sight of Shouyou. “Oh, hello?”

Shouyou stood up and bowed. “Hinata Shouyou! We met before, in the–”

“Yes, in the petshop. I remember. Kuroo Tetsurou.” Kuroo bowed and smiled politely. Then he turned to Kenma, examining his condition. He probably didn’t look as upset as he was earlier, so Kuroo turned to Shouyou again, “I’m making dinner, will you join us?”

Shouyou looked at Kenma with a questioning look, and Kenma nodded. “Yes, I’d love to,” Shouyou answered.

They all had dinner together at the small table in their kitchen. Kuroo and Shouyou seemed to be getting along, and Kenma even took a few bites of his food, which earned him a proud smile from Kuroo. 

When Shouyou left, he told Kenma that he had fun. Kenma couldn’t quite understand how that was possible, since he had been in a horrible mood all evening, but he took Shouyou’s word for it. 

After he closed the door behind Shouyou, Kenma could practically feel Kuroo’s eyes on him.

Kuroo stood at the end of the hallway, with his hands in his sides. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

Kenma knew that he should talk to Kuroo about what happened with his mother earlier in the evening, but it still felt too fresh and painful. “No, not right now.”

Kuroo looked a bit confused, and then said, “No, I’m not talking about that. I meant the charming pet store boy. When were you going to tell me?” 

“Hm, there’s not much to tell.” Kenma wasn’t in the mood to say anything about it. He felt like he had already exposed too much of himself for one day.

“Oh come on. Your eyes were all over him. You like him,” Kuroo said.

Kenma averted his eyes, hoping that the heat in his cheeks wouldn’t betray him. “I don’t.”

“You do,” Kuroo teased.

“Goodnight Kuro.” Kenma strode past him in the direction of his bedroom, but was stopped by Kuroo’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, wait. I’m sorry.” He let his hand drop from Kenma’s shoulder and held out his fist. “You know that if you do like him, that I support you, okay?”

Kenma found it silly that Kuroo thought he needed to say that, since he was an unwavering beacon of support in Kenma’s life. He bumped Kuroo’s fist with his own. “I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at maiuzan.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your comments, they honestly make my day <33
> 
> here it is, the final chapter!!

“I wanna take him on a date.” Shouyou dropped his head on the counter.

“Then ask him.” Suga smacked him on the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper. “And stand up straight, this isn’t a bar.” 

Shouyou groaned and lifted his head. It was Saturday and Shouyou had the day off. Somehow, when he went on a stroll to ease the stiffness out of his knee, he had ended up at his workplace. It turned out to be exactly where he needed to be, because Suga was the best person to vent to. “No, Suga, I’m scared. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me too, but I don’t know if going on a date would be too soon for us. It feels like he might slip away from me if I push too hard.”

“Hm,” Suga hummed, but he seemed to be distracted by something. Shouyou turned to follow his gaze, and of course there was the part-timer. “Asahi,” Suga sang, “You missed one. Bottom row.”

Asahi bent over to straighten one of the cat litter bags. “Like this?”

Suga leaned over the counter to get a better look, but he clearly wasn’t looking at the bags. “Yes, that’s it.” 

Shouyou smacked his face in secondhand embarrassment. “Suga, you’re a dirty old man.”

“Don’t talk to your boss like that, Hinata.” Suga straightened his apron, which looked a bit disheveled after being bent over the counter that far. “So, where do you want to take him?”

“I have no idea. I haven’t been on a date in years,” Shouyou admitted. The thing that scared him the most about going on a date with Kenma was that he feared a repeat of history. His sparse experience with dates was terrible, and he didn’t want to have another disastrous one. 

“I’ll ask Asahi,” Suga said. Shouyou waved his hands to try and stop him, but Suga just ignored him. “Asahi, if you were to take me on a date, where would you take me?” Shouyou thanked the fact that he never had to work with those two at the same time. “Hypothetically of course,” Suga added.

Asahi’s back was facing them and he had yet to turn around. When he did, Shouyou saw that he looked like he was overheating and shutting down. After a bunch of stammering he said, “The cinema? And dinner? Or maybe the zoo?” He made every sentence sound like a question and Shouyou couldn’t help but giggle at the effect Suga had on the man.

“The zoo sounds cute, don’t you think, Shouyou? Thanks Asahi.” Suga smiled sweetly.

Asahi mumbled about needing something from the back and stormed off. Shouyou watched him disappear from earshot and said, “Suga, you have to ask him out. This is cruel.”

“All in good time, Hinata.” The look on Suga’s face was uncharacteristically smug. “So, the zoo. Are you gonna ask him, or not?”

“Yeah, why not.” Shouyou got his phone from his pocket and dialed Kenma’s number. By the time Kenma picked up, Shouyou was bouncing on his feet from nerves. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” he said after Kenma and him greeted each other. “So I was gonna go to the zoo with Kageyama today, but he cancelled on me.” He saw Suga dramatically roll his eyes. “Do you want to come with me?”

Shouyou suddenly realized that it might be a bit too cold outside for a trip to the zoo, but surprisingly, Kenma said yes, and even sounded a bit excited about it. Shouyou jumped from joy and high fived Suga. They agreed upon a time and place to meet and said goodbye. 

Only after he had hung up it fully dawned on him, and a bit stunned, he said, “I’m going on a date.”

 

* * *

 

When Shouyou arrived at the zoo, Kenma was already waiting next to the entrance, playing on his phone. Shouyou fought the urge to speed up and run to him. The coat Kenma was wearing was so big that he was drowning in it. His messy bun stuck out from under the snapback, which shielded his face from the snow that was softly falling. When Shouyou came closer, he saw how red Kenma’s cheeks were from the cold, making them appear to be rounder. Shouyou’s heart stuttered.

“Hey,” he said, and Kenma looked up from his phone.

“Hey,” Kenma replied. His mouth was relaxed, but Shouyou could see a smile in his eyes.

Shouyou felt a smile form on his own face. The last time he had seen Kenma, he looked so sad, and there had been no light in his eyes. Now there was plenty. “Shall we?” 

As they could have expected, most of the animals were hiding out of sight, in warmer places, but that didn’t effect the fun they had. Kenma took pictures of Shouyou when he posed close to an ostrich, they took a picture together in front of a sleeping meerkat, and they sat down to eat a burger in the zoo’s diner. 

Shouyou carefully watched Kenma as he spoke, to see if there was anything left of his sadness from a few nights earlier, but fortunately, he couldn’t find anything. Kenma followed him around everywhere, looking satisfied with Shouyou leading the way. Shouyou didn’t even feel cold anymore, with all the running around. Kenma’s small and hidden smiles also helped with warming him up.

They ended up at a field housing zebras, which were outside despite the snow. It was a weird thing to see, animals that clearly belonged in planes of grass and heat, instead strolling around the snow.

One zebra caught Shouyou’s eye. “That one’s limping,” he said, and he pointed at the animal for Kenma to see.

Kenma looked where Shouyou was pointing and took a few pictures. Shouyou couldn’t see his face when Kenma said, “Just like you.”

Shouyou snorted. “Yeah, just like me.”

Most people asked about the story behind Shouyou’s injury as soon as they saw him adjusting his knee brace or favoring his left leg while walking. Probably, Kenma guessed that it might be a sensitive subject and had never bothered to ask. 

Shouyou watched as Kenma continued to take pictures with his phone. Somehow, they both knew what to ask and what not to ask from each other. Shouyou wondered how they could be so compatible despite barely knowing each other. 

Shouyou wanted that to change, wanted Kenma to know him better than any of his other friends, as more than a friend. He gestured with his head that they should leave, and they walked next to each other to nowhere in particular.

“So this injury I have,” he started, and next to him he saw Kenma put his phone away. Having his full attention, he continued, “I used to play volleyball in high school. It was my favorite thing, what I lived for, what I got out of bed in the morning for. I even got scouted in my final year.”

“But I pushed too hard, demanded more from my body than was physically possible. By the time my team was playing at nationals, I was in the hospital with my leg up.” Shouyou’s hands balled up into fists in his coat pockets. He could remember it like it was yesterday, the helpless feeling of not being able to do anything, not even support them from the sidelines.

“I never focussed on my studies before then, so getting into college with my grades was impossible. I could have crammed for a year and gotten in anyways, but not being able to play volleyball was–” he searched for the right way to say it.

“Depressing. It ruined me. Even after my knee healed I could barely leave my bed. Quite hard to imagine, isn’t it? For someone with my energy.” He laughed and that earned him a thin smile from Kenma. “They said that even with physical therapy, I could never play professionally. Back then I thought ‘Then what’s the point?’ and I barely showed up to my appointments for physical therapy.” He grimaced at his own foolishness and added, “Now I can’t even play at all.” Next to him, Kenma was quietly staring at the ground, a frown on his face.

“Oh! Kageyama got scouted too and plays professionally now, the bastard.” Despite his words, Shouyou smiled widely, because his proud feelings for Kageyama outweighed his envy. 

They walked in silence for a minute, and Kenma looked as if he was turning over everything Shouyou said in his head. Then, he asked, “How do you smile so brightly, even after your dreams got shattered?”

The question made Shouyou stop in his tracks. He had not expected something like this to be thrown at him, but Kenma kept on surprising him. Kenma had stopped walking too, and was staring at him, only a few steps between them. After a thought, Shouyou said, “I created new dreams for myself. It’s way harder than I make it sound, and it can take a long time before you figure it out, but trust me, it’s worth the wait.” Kenma nodded and Shouyou grinned, feeling happy he had answered his question to his satisfaction.

Something from the corner of his eye caught his attention. “Oh look,” Shouyou pointed at the ice cream stand, which was open despite the weather. “Let’s get a popsicle!”

Kenma looked hesitant. “But it’s winter.”

“So?” Shouyou pretended to not see that as a reasonable argument and dragged Kenma to the ice cream stand. 

They ate their popsicles until they were shivering, which caused Shouyou to drop his. After this they decided to call it a day, and go home for a hot shower. Kenma walked him all the way to his front door, and Shouyou successfully fought the urge of asking him to come inside. The heat from the shower he took eased every bit of stiffness from his body, and he felt truly relaxed. With a smile on his face, he daydreamed about their next date.

 

* * *

 

That night, Kenma sat in bed thinking about the things Shouyou had said.  

Make a new dream for yourself, is what he had said, but this was not applicable to Kenma, since he had never had dreams to begin with. He had always lived day by day, never worrying about next week or next year. This was part of the reason why he dropped out in his third year of college. The papers, attendance, professors, he hated all of it. And it felt like it wasn’t worth the hassle when he had no plans for the future. Why even bother? 

Friends, family, namely his mom, had pushed him into attending college, but when it turned out that his mom didn’t even support him as a person, he had dropped out. His appetite decreased until it had disappeared completely. Days were spent in bed and he lost track of time. Whenever he thought about his problems, a peculiar sheet of numbness covered his heart, as if he was thinking about someone else’s problems. The only one keeping him grounded was Kuroo, but that wasn’t enough to make him feel again. 

A dream, Shouyou had called it. Could Kenma even manage to think of something like that? He felt like there was no space in his head to do so. Every nook and cranny of his mind was filled with thoughts about his mother, college, and all the time he had wasted.

Maybe finishing college wasn’t such a bad idea after all. If he managed it, he’d have one less worry and a college degree in his pocket. He could prove his mother wrong, that he wasn’t a good for nothing.

No. He wasn’t going to let his mother be any part of this anymore. She had ruined that for herself.

Like Shouyou had said, it sounded easier than it was. But the least he could do, was try. 

He climbed out of his bed and went to the living room. Kuroo was sprawled out on the couch, watching some nature documentary. Kenma sat down on the floor with his back against the couch, and rested his head on Kuroo’s thigh. “Kuro, will you still be there for me even if I don’t go back to college?” he asked.

“What the–,” Kuroo immediately muted the television. “Shit, Kenma. Of course. Always. You know that.”

Kenma played with his thumbs, feeling a bit nervous for actually saying it, because saying it made it real. “I’m going to fill in the forms. Can you drop them off tomorrow?”

“But you just said–” Kuroo started.

He interrupted him, “I’m gonna try to finish the last year, don’t worry. I just needed to know you’d be there if it doesn’t work out.”

“I’ll be there.” Kuroo put his hand on Kenma’s shoulder and squeezed. “Thanks for making a decision.”

Kenma felt something prick his eyes, but he ignored it. He took a shaky breath, and said, “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Rain splattered down all around Kenma, but it didn’t bother him. The temperature had finally begun to rise, changing snow into rain, and ice into puddles on the sidewalk. He easily crisscrossed around the puddles in his yellow rain boots, umbrella in hand. He was feeling a bit upbeat, something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Shouyou had invited him to go somewhere tonight, but he hadn’t said where. Normally, a similar situation would’ve scared him, since he hated surprises, but he trusted Shouyou.

When he arrived at the pet store, Shouyou was locking up together with the store owner. Sugawara, as Kenma remembered, was the first to notice him, and he poked Shouyou in his side. 

Shouyou turned his head. “Ah, Kenma! Great timing.” He punched in a code for the alarm system, and Sugawara checked the door. “We’re going straight to the subway station, if that’s okay with you?” Shouyou asked.

“Sure.” Kenma answered, getting a bit more curious about where they were going. 

They walked to the station shoulder to shoulder, squeezed under the umbrella. Kenma could feel Shouyou’s body heat all through his coat and was suddenly even more grateful that it rained. Once at the station, they got on a train in a direction Kenma hadn’t been in before. He wanted to ask where they were going, but trusted Shouyou not to take him to any weird places. 

On the train, Kenma quickly found a place for Shouyou to sit, and stood opposite of him tightly gripping a handlebar. “Oh, by the way,” he started, “I’m officially enrolled in next year’s classes. Guess I’m going back to college after all.” He tried to make it sound matter-of-factly, but the words came out strained.

“What? Kenma, that’s amazing!” Shouyou smiled and Kenma found himself using both his hands to steady him. What was it about Shouyou’s smile that made him feel like everything thing he did was worth all the effort.

As they passed a couple of stations, the train got less and less crowded. Not being able to hide his curiosity anymore, Kenma asked, “Shouyou, where are we going?”

Shouyou looked around himself before whispering, “We’re going to watch the national volleyball team practice.” And then with a cheeky grin he added, “Nothing special.”

“Nothing special,” Kenma repeated. The look on his face was probably dumbfounded. As far as he knew, it wasn’t normal for a national team to have an audience.

Shouyou saw the confusion on his face and said, “Kageyama has been bugging me to come and watch since forever. Actually, since this happened,” he gestured towards his knee, “I haven’t been near a volleyball. I didn’t even watch the olympics last year.” Shouyou laughed humorlessly. 

“You couldn’t.” Kenma concluded.

Shouyou looked up at him. “That’s right. I thought that it would be too painful. But now we’re going! And I’m so nervous that my stomach hurts.” 

Kenma looked past him out the window as the buildings flashed by. He didn’t understand why Shouyou would want to go through with it if it hurt that much. “Why now?” he asked.

“Because you’re here with me of course!” Shouyou said it like it was the most logical thing in the world and Kenma found himself to be confused again. 

When he was around Shouyou, simple things felt a bit easier. When Shouyou smiled, Kenma felt weirdly confident. Like he knew that even if he failed, Shouyou would be there to help him get back up again. Maybe Shouyou felt that way about Kenma too?

They got out at their stop and made the short walk to the sports centre. The rain had stopped now, so Kenma had his umbrella tucked away, but Shouyou still walked with his shoulder touching Kenma’s.

When they arrived, unsurprisingly, there was security. Despite the fact that Kageyama had let the security know that he would be expecting guests, a tall security guard still looked at their identification and patted them down. Once they were cleared, he opened a set of automatic doors and gave them directions to the court.

They walked into a long hallway with many doors, which Kenma would have found confusing it they hadn’t gotten any directions. Halfway, Shouyou stopped. “You hear that?” he said.

Kenma focused, and then he could hear what he meant. A continuous squeaking of sport shoes touching the floor, and the unmistakable sound of a ball bouncing. He could smell musty locker rooms and sport drinks. Shouyou was still standing still, fists clenched at his side, and looking at the ground.

“We can still go back,” Kenma offered.

“It’s okay,” Shouyou said. “It’s just that my mind knows that I’m not here to play, but my body–” 

Shouyou reached for Kenma’s hand and guided it to his neck. He placed Kenma’s finger on the vein running under his jaw. Kenma could feel the rapid pulse pumping under his fingers and wondered if he’d ever been this close to Shouyou.

They stood there for a few moments, and Kenma felt the pulse under his fingers slow until Shouyou dropped his hand. “Okay. I’m ready.”

At the end of the hallway were two large doors that lead into the training area. Shouyou pushed them open and looked around to find them a place to sit, all the while ignoring what was happening on the court. A young man to their right waved them over and offered them a spot next to him on the bench. He introduced himself as the junior assistant coach, and he and Shouyou asked each other some questions back and forth, but Kenma wasn’t paying attention. He was studying Shouyou’s face for any sign of discomfort or even panic, but found none. It was when Shouyou finally glanced to the court, that his body went rigid.

“It’s okay,” Kenma whispered. Shouyou nodded at him and kept on watching. Once his shoulders relaxed, Kenma allowed himself to look at the court too.

Kenma recognized some of the faces from tv and Kageyama from the pictures Shouyou had shown him. Shouyou said that what they were practicing now was called a synchronized attack and Kenma watched in awe. As far as his knowledge about volleyball went, which wasn’t far, he could see that Kageyama was good at his job. However, through his novice eyes, it looked like the team was just randomly running around. But after a while, he could see a pattern, and notice how the ball was slammed over the net in the exact same place every time.

“They’re good,” he said.

Shouyou laughed. “Well duh, it’s our national team.” 

When the team took a small break, Kageyama jogged over to say hello. He introduced himself to Kenma, and gave Shouyou a supportive but awkward pat on the shoulder. 

“He seems nice,” said Kenma after Kageyama returned to his team.

“Ha, you say that now, but you should’ve met him when he was younger. You would’ve run away from him as fast as you could.” Shouyou chuckled at that. The assistant coach overheard him and asked about it. They talked about younger Kageyama and Shouyou shared a bunch of silly stories. 

It was then that the players split up in two teams to play a practice match. Kenma watched and was amazed by the intensity of the plays. The synchronicity was overwhelming and Kenma found himself being pulled in by it. He was distracted by the game, and noticed too late the state Shouyou was in.

Next to him, Shouyou sat with his hands holding on to the edge of the bench, his knuckles white. He was trembling in his place, as if his tight grip on the wood was the only thing keeping him from getting up. His face was a mix of emotions, ranging from excitement to fear.

Kenma put his hand on Shouyou’s bouncing knee to hold him still, and he could feel the brace underneath the fabric. “Stop that. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

The touch steadied Shouyou, but he was still straining. He looked at the hand on his knee, and then at Kenma. “I wanna play.”

The expression on Shouyou’s face almost made Kenma look away. It was pure and honest desire, like he wanted nothing more than to get up and join the team. He almost felt bad for stopping him. “You can’t. You know that.” 

Shouyou nodded and looked back at the game. Kenma could feel under his hand how tense Shouyou still was, but trusted him to pull himself back together. He watched the game with Shouyou, but found it hard to focus, since he didn’t know the rules. Just when he thought it was safe for him to pull his hand away, Shouyou put his own hand on top of Kenma’s. 

Now it was Kenma’s turn to tense up. Shouyou kept his eyes on the game and didn’t seem to be bothered by the physical contact. Kenma glanced down to see if it was really happening, and yes, Shouyou’s hand was on his, fingers slipped in between Kenma’s, almost entwined. Kenma looked around to see if anyone was looking at them or pointing fingers, but no one was. 

He dared to look at Shouyou’s face again, and was struck by the smile he was wearing. He smiled like he was genuinely enjoying the game now, and Kenma felt relieved. Shouyou’s eyes widened, probably because of an impressive point scored by either one of the teams, but Kenma didn’t care about the game. He saw how Shouyou’s eyes slid back into a concentrated stare, his eyebrows slightly raised as if he was scared he would miss anything. His hair, usually restrained by a bandana when he worked, was now bouncing freely with every movement he made. Kenma felt his pulse quicken, and hoped Shouyou wouldn’t feel it in his hand. 

He pulled his eyes away from Shouyou and didn’t look at him for the rest of the game. 

When the game was over, Shouyou squeezed Kenma’s hand before letting go. “It’s time to go.”

The practice wasn’t over yet, but Kenma got the hint. Shouyou was doing very well, but that didn’t meant that he had to try his luck.

Once outside of the building, Kenma was irked by the fact that the rain had turned into snow again. They took shelter by the entrance and waited for it to thin out. 

Shouyou closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again to look at Kenma, and said, “Thank you for coming with me. I needed this.”

“It was my pleasure. I was happy that you wanted me here. I had lots of fun.” He wanted to say all of it, but couldn’t. Instead, he smiled wider than he had in a long time, and hoped it portrayed all the things he couldn’t say.

Red dusted Shouyou’s cheek when he smiled back at him.

On their way to the subway station they stopped at a little hole in the wall restaurant and Shouyou ordered a serving of katsudon for both of them. Kenma’s stomach growled when the steaming bowl was placed in front of him, and only absentmindedly noted that that was new, before he dug in. Shouyou talked about the highlights of the practice match, and Kenma nodded here and there, not willing to admit that he had barely paid any attention to the game.

After this, Shouyou took Kenma home, despite Kenma telling him that he didn’t have to. He said that he didn’t want Shouyou to strain his knee, but Shouyou said that his knee felt better than ever, and that Kenma’s hand must have some magical healing powers. 

When Kenma went to bed later that evening, he peered through the darkness to watch Shouyou the hamster running in his wheel. And when he fell asleep, he dreamed of the real Shouyou running around on the court.

 

* * *

 

When Shouyou came home after his night out with Kenma, he slid down against the door onto the ground as soon as he closed it behind him. His whole body felt shaky from effort. Who would’ve thought that stress could have such an impact on one’s physique? 

Seeing others play volleyball had been even harder than he’d expected. It was a smart thing, to invite Kenma. Without him there, he would have probably done something stupid.

Shouyou’s hand went to his knee, and he swore that he could still feel the heat of Kenma’s hand. 

Shouyou was no fool. He had seen the way Kenma’s stared at him when he thought Shouyou wasn’t looking, and the way he had acted tonight confirmed Shouyou’s suspicions. Kenma was feeling the same way.

He felt relieved. From the beginning on, he’d had his suspicions, but now, everything made sense, even his own feelings. He wanted so badly to be something more with Kenma, to be his important person. Realizing that it could actually happen felt like a miracle.

But the relief was overshadowed by a sense of dread. Now that he knew that Kenma liked him too, Shouyou had to take the initiative and confess. He gripped his stomach as he already felt a new set of nerves arrive.

However, he reassured himself, that it would all be more than worth it in the end.

 

* * *

 

“Here you go,” Shouyou said as he dropped the books on Kenma’s desk. “I wish you would’ve let me carry more of them. I’m strong, you know?” 

“I know.” Kenma put the rest of the books on top of the others, and found that his desk was no longer big enough to use for homework. He shrugged and dropped himself on his bed.

Kenma had gotten his booklist for college earlier that week, and Shouyou had come with him to buy the books today, which he was very grateful for. Apparently, wanting to buy the cheapest second hand books meant that you had to travel from one end of the city to the other and then back again. Kenma winced as he flexed his feet, and he promised himself that their day trip had been enough exercise for the rest of the year. 

Shouyou was flipping through one of the textbooks when he asked, “This looks interesting. Why did you drop out?” 

Kenma had expected that he would get that question somewhere along the way, but that didn’t mean that he had an answer ready. “It was overwhelming,” was what he decided on.

Shouyou turned to look at him. “Aren’t I overwhelming too?”

Kenma thought about it. Sometimes Shouyou really was too much for him, so he said, “Yes. But I’m still figuring out if that’s a good or a bad thing.”

Shouyou smiled, and it was a smile Kenma had never seen on him before. “Is there any way I can swing the odds in my favor?” 

That was flirting and Kenma knew it. Heat crept up his cheeks and he had nowhere to hide it. He had no idea how to respond to that. He felt like he should come up with some witty, evasive reply, but he had nothing. All he could think was that if Shouyou bothered to flirt with him, then he must have some sort of feeling for Kenma. This was something he couldn’t wrap his head around, and when he tried to do it anyway, he felt dizzy.

Shouyou probably must have noticed that he wasn’t going to get a response to that from Kenma any time soon, so he asked, “This little guy, have you found a name for him yet?”

For this, Kenma did have an answer. “His name is Shouyou,” he said and suddenly he felt extremely embarrassed about it. He sat with his hands tightly hidden between his legs, not knowing what to do with them. His cheeks were still burning but he forced himself to look at Shouyou.

Shouyou opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He turned to look at the hamster, who was running from one end of the cage to the other, his mouth stuffed with bedding. “It suits him,” Shouyou said.

For a minute, Shouyou stayed there, but then he turned and sat next to Kenma on the bed. 

Shouyou looked a bit restless and Kenma remembered that night when they watched the practice match. This worried him a bit, and he was about to ask him what was wrong, but then Shouyou lifted his hand. Carefully, he put his hand on Kenma’s cheek. Despite not knowing what was going on, Kenma couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Shouyou’s hand was warm, and the callouses on his palm felt rough against his soft skin. Kenma shut his eyes at the sensation and let himself forget where he was for a second.

But then Shouyou’s voice brought him back to reality. “Can I?” he whispered. Kenma didn’t understand what he meant, but then he saw Shouyou glance at his lips. Oh. He was suddenly very aware of Shouyou’s hand on his cheek, his heat on his skin, and he wanted more. Quickly, he nodded.

Shouyou moved in closer and Kenma managed to suck in a hasty breath before their lips briefly touched. Shouyou pulled away as fast as he came, and scanned Kenma’s face for any signs of discomfort. There were none. Their lips met again and Kenma found himself clenching the bed sheets with his fists. Shouyou put his other hand on Kenma’s cheek too, and gently held his face as he kissed him.

Kenma closed his eyes and could hear his heart beating in his ears, and all of his strength left his body. His muscles were like jelly, and Shouyou’s hands were the only things keeping him up. He tried not to forget to breathe, but it turned out to be quite difficult when Shouyou’s lips were softly moving against his. They didn’t deepen the kiss, and Kenma was content with that, because he didn’t think he’d be able to handle much more.

Slowly, Shouyou moved away from him. Kenma kept his eyes closed for a little while before opening again. When he did, he was met with Shouyou staring at him. Shouyou’s thumb traced an invisible line over Kenma’s cheekbone, the gesture so gentle that it made the hairs in Kenma’s neck stand up. He was looking at him as if Kenma was something incredible.

“So, I, uhm–” Shouyou’s voice was hoarse, “I like you. A lot.”

With those words alone, he felt a weight sliding off his shoulders. Shouyou liked him. “Yeah, me too,” he admitted.

When Shouyou smiled, it was a serene but fragile thing, and it did funny things to Kenma’s heartbeat.

Kenma knew that he had a long way to go before he would feel like his old self again, but he was on his way. With Shouyou cheering him on, Kuroo as his pillar of support, he was sure that he could do it. They gave him the sort of confidence he had never had before.

This time, he was the one to lean in and kiss Shouyou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at maiuzan.tumblr.com


	4. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a small bonus chapter that i wrote to fight my writers block! hope you enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: art for chapter 3!! check it out [ here ](http://zoethehumansloth.tumblr.com/post/146814225732/quick-mess-for-this-stellar-kenhina-maiuzan-wrote)

If there was one thing Kenma didn’t like, it was waking up before noon on a weekend day. Especially after spending the previous evening on the phone with your boyfriend until way past midnight. Now the thing is, if Kenma had woken up naturally, he would have just rolled over and closed his eyes again. But that was not the case on this unfortunate day. 

He lifted his pillow to check his phone and found that it was indeed before noon, just ten past eleven. Great.

From what he guessed was the kitchen came the sounds that had woken him up. He could hear loud noises. A clanging of pots, something dropping to the floor, and the soft curses of someone trying to be quiet and failing miserably. That someone was Kuroo.

Kenma pulled the blanket over his head to hide his face, not eager to find out what kind of surprise Kuroo had in store for him.

The footsteps from the kitchen were coming closer to his room now. Kenma steadied his breathing so that it looked as if he was asleep, even though he knew full well that he could never fool his best friend.

Deliberately, Kenma didn’t respond to the knock at his door, but that had never stopped Kuroo before. Even though it was getting warm and stuffy under the blanket, Kenma refused to give up his act. He knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t help it; He truly didn’t like this day.

_ “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you–”  _ Kuroo sang in his off-key morning voice as he barged into the room.

That alone was enough for Kenma to give up his act and pull the sheets off himself. “Kuro, anything but the singing, please,” he groaned as he covered his eyes with his arms. Kuroo had, rudely, switched on the lights, so Kenma had to adjust for a second before he could see clearly what was going on.

“Ah, Kenma, I practiced so much,” Kuroo said. His tone was sad, but the grin on his face was quite the opposite. He was in the middle of Kenma’s room wearing his pajamas, holding a bowl of… something.

Kenma sat up in his bed to get a closer look and snorted when he saw what it was. “Cornflakes? With a candle in it?”

“Yes. Why aren’t you crying tears of joy yet? Breakfast in bed is one of the most desired gifts on a birthday.” Kuroo winked as if he was giving Kenma a hint. “Shit!” Kuroo cursed suddenly, as he plunged his hand into the bowl of cereal.

Kenma scrunched his nose as he watched Kuroo retrieve the extinguished candle from the milk. “I’m not eating that anymore.”

Kuroo pouted as he studied the ruined cereal. “I shouldn’t have let it go soggy. I’ll get you a new one.”

Kenma chuckled at Kuroo’s kindness. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make one myself. We can eat together in the kitchen.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Now get out so I can get dressed.” He gestured with his hand until Kuroo finally backed away out of his room.

Once Kuroo was completely out of view, Kenma reached under his pillow to pull out his phone. Unsurprisingly, he had received a few texts. He scrolled through them and then found the one he was looking for. Shouyou had sent him a simple birthday message, with a heart emoji at the end of it. Kenma smiled to himself. Even though they had stayed on the phone until after midnight, just so Shouyou could be the first one to congratulate him, he had still sent him a text. Kenma, feeling a bit daring, replied with a heart emoji too.

Reluctantly, he left his warm bed and made his way out of his room. When he entered the kitchen, there was a big box waiting for him, wrapped in blue paper with a golden bow. 

“Don’t look so surprised, as if you never get any presents,” Kuroo poured them both a cup of coffee, “Come on, open it.”

Kenma tried to unwrap the ribbon, but found that it was fake and glued on. Kuroo chuckled into his coffee mug, and Kenma ignored him while he tore the wrapping from the box. Inside, was a new game console, that had been released only a few weeks earlier. Kenma had been saving all of his money to buy it, but it would have taken him a few more months to save up enough, because it was  _ way  _ over his budget. 

“Kuro, this is–” he started.

Kuroo smacked him on the back. “Don’t even say it. Me and the boys all chipped in, so it’s not a problem at all.”

Kenma finally looked at the back of the card that had been tied to the present with a curly ribbon. It was filled with birthday wishes and signed by all of their friends. “Thank you so much. I’ll call them later.”

“They’d love that. Though, talking about phone calls,” Kuroo took his time as he sipped on his coffee, “Your boy toy called me this morning.”

Kenma made a face at Kuroo. “Don’t call him that. He’s only a year younger. Why did he call you?”

“He told me to ask you to come to his place after breakfast. And that you should bring your birthday present.” Kuroo pointed at the game console. 

“He’s not planning some surprise party for me, is he?” Kenma asked, always suspicious of Kuroo’s smirk.

Kuroo laughed. “Come on, give him more credit than that.”

 

* * *

 

When Kenma finally stepped outside of their building, he was surprised to feel the sun on his face. They had been plagued by rain for weeks now, unusually cold for the season. But now, on this October day, the sun was shining through the dark but non-threatening clouds, slowly drying  the damp sidewalks. Experimentally, Kenma unzipped his jacket, and let the breeze blow through the fabric of his sweater. Not too warm, or too cold. Perfect.

He put his earphones in and set off in the direction of Shouyou’s apartment, a route he had walked so many times by now, that it had almost become a routine. He knew all the corners, recognized every crooked sidewalk tile, and knew which puddles were deep enough to avoid. When he passed the small cafe two blocks from his home, the owner’s dog was sprawled out at the cafe’s door, wagging his tail as he recognized Kenma. Kenma pet his head, as had become habit.

Somehow, the dog reminded him of Shouyou; how he was always excited to see him, and the content look on his face when given affection. Kenma shook his head. Why did he always have to compare Shouyou to animals? It was probably considered rude by some people. But there was something about Shouyou’s honest and unfiltered display of emotions, that had Kenma thinking such silly things every now and then.

It was when Kenma passed a gift shop, with sappy Hallmark cards stacked out in the front, that he realized something. It was October, and they had started dating somewhere in January… or was it February? Meaning that they had unknowingly passed their six month anniversary. Kenma shoved his hands in his jacket’s pockets and smiled to himself. Shouyou was as forgetful as Kenma was with these things. Kenma had secretly hoped that everyone would forget about his birthday this year, preventing any surprise parties, but Kuroo had made sure of it that everyone knew, Shouyou included.

More than half a year, huh? It was incredible how fast time flew when he was spending it with Shouyou. Even going to college turned out to be easier than expected. Shouyou had written some motivational messages in Kenma’s notebooks, which he often found himself reading before a difficult class. As long as Shouyou’s words sounded through the back of his mind, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t face.

And of course, being with Shouyou wasn’t  _ always _ easy. They’d had their fair share of disagreements, which sometimes escalated into an actual fight because both of them were too stubborn to admit they were wrong. It was always Shouyou who said sorry first, with a smile that could end wars. And if Kenma dared to apologize too, Shouyou would shush him with a kiss. Being with Shouyou was like winning the lottery day after day, without ever having to buy a ticket.

When he finally passed the convenience store next to Shouyou’s building, he saw his own face in the reflection of the tall windows, and noticed that he was smiling like a fool. Catching himself like that spread a blush all over his face. Quickly, he zipped up his jacket all the way to hide it from the rest of the world.

He speed walked the rest of the way to Shouyou’s apartment. When he arrived at the door and rang the bell, no one answered. From inside, he could hear the radio playing, and Shouyou singing along to some pop song. Kenma realized that he wouldn’t mind it if Shouyou sang him a birthday song. Probably.

He reached in his pocket for his spare key, and unlocked the door. “Shouyou, I’m here,” he called out.  

Shouyou came running into the hallway, with his hair sticking up in weird places, and face startled. “Wah! Kenma, so early!” 

But Kenma could barely look at Shouyou. From inside the apartment, he smelled something incredibly delicious. As if being pulled in by a magnet, he stepped past Shouyou and followed his nose. The scent was warm and sweet, with a hint of cinnamon, and reminded Kenma of his grandma’s house.

Before he could walk any further, he felt a tug on the hood of his coat. Shouyou was gently pulling him back. “No no, don’t you think you can get away from me like that, come here.” Shouyou wrapped his arms around him, and squeezed Kenma close to his chest. In his ear, he whispered, “Happy birthday, Kenma.”

Kenma wanted to say something, but forgot what it was when Shouyou placed a big wet kiss in his neck. “Shouyou, that’s gross!” he said, but he didn’t mind at all, since Shouyou followed the sloppy kiss with smaller, gentler pecks, scattering them all over Kenma’s neck, and then his face.

Kenma had long since forgotten about the wonderful smell in the apartment, until he was face to face with Shouyou again. There was a big smear of something white on his right cheek. Flour maybe?

Then Kenma put two and two together and he gasped. “You’re baking an apple pie.”

“Correct! I haven’t forgotten that it’s your favorite.” Shouyou grinned as he wiped his cheek with his sleeve. “It should be about done now. You can make yourself comfortable as I check.”

“No, I wanna see.” Kenma put his bag down and followed Shouyou to the kitchen.

As Shouyou opened the oven, hot air escaped, blowing Kenma’s hair out of his face. When he peeked inside, he saw soft and warm apples, covered by a golden crust. The sight alone made him so excited that he was almost bouncing on his feet.

“Yeah, it’s done.” Shouyou put on some worn out kitchen gloves that were way too big for his hands, and pulled the pie out of the oven. Once he had carefully placed it on the countertop, he finally looked at Kenma. To Kenma’s surprise, he burst out laughing. “What’s that face? I’ve never seen you this excited!”

“I told you, it’s my favorite,” Kenma defended himself. He wondered what his face might look like, and if it was really that different from his usual face. He had been told by people that his face didn’t show much emotion, except for annoyance and indifference. But Shouyou, much like Kuroo, managed to pick him apart easily, reading every twitch of the mouth and movement of Kenma’s eyes.

Shouyou was so amused by Kenma’s face that a tear had escaped his eye, which he wiped away with the kitchen glove. “Okay, not to make you sad or anything, but it’s too hot to eat right now. Let’s connect your birthday gift to the TV while we wait for it to cool down.”

Kenma looked over Shouyou’s shoulder into the hallway where his bag with his brand new console stood and frowned. “But I don’t have any games to play yet,” he said.

“Shh,” Shouyou hushed him, “Don’t go guessing what I bought for you.”

Kenma opened his mouth to say something, but Shouyou clumsily gestured with his gloved hands for Kenma to leave the kitchen.

Kenma knew better than to protest, so he grabbed his bag and made his way to the TV. However, before he got there, he almost tripped on something soft.

Shouyou had pulled all the cushions off the couch and scattered them all over the ground in front of the TV. Where the large cushions didn’t cover the floor, small pillows and fluffed up blankets played their part. A few bags of Kenma’s favorite snacks were scattered on the now naked looking couch, together with a couple of bowls, two glasses, and bottles of coke. Altogether, it looked like Kenma’s personal heaven.

Shouyou appeared, looking like he had cleaned himself up a bit. “Do you like it?”

Kenma cleared his throat, not trusting his own voice. “It’s perfect,” he said, and Shouyou answered him with a pleased smile. For the hundredth, maybe even thousandth, time in their relationship, Kenma wondered if he deserved someone as Shouyou.

Shouyou let himself drop onto the sea of pillows. After a loud sigh, he rolled onto his back and spread his arms, inviting Kenma down. Kenma gladly complied, albeit a bit gentler than Shouyou was. Carefully, he lowered onto his knees and crawled into Shouyou’s arms.

Kenma snuggled closer into the warm embrace of Shouyou’s arms, and groaned a complaint when Shouyou let go of him to turn around and get something from under a pillow. “Found it!” he said, as he dangled a small gift bag in front of Kenma’s face.

It was a small bag, silver, with an awful amount of glitter on it. Kenma immediately sat up straight and took the bag from Shouyou’s hands. Inside, there were four videogames, all of them titles Kenma had mentioned once while talking to Shouyou. He couldn’t believe that he had remembered all of them.

Shouyou was now sitting on his knees, looking as excited as Kenma felt. “Well? Do you like them?”

Kenma let himself fall against Shouyou’s chest, his head on his shoulder, and Shouyou carefully wrapped him in a hug. “Thank you,” Kenma whispered, hoping that Shouyou could hear what this meant to him.

Shouyou kissed the top of his head, leaving a tickling sensation where his breath travelled through Kenma’s hair. “You’re welcome. Which one do you wanna play?”

Kenma moved back and spread the games out on a pillow. One of them was a game he had really been looking forward to, but only one player could play it at a time. His eyes shifted to the multiplayer game. He had read online that the story was a bit boring, but being able to play it together with Shouyou would definitely make up for that. “This one,” he tapped on the plastic casing.

Shouyou grabbed the video game and excitedly read the back of the case.“Wah! This one looks cool! Can you start it up while I fetch the pie?”

At the mention of pie, Kenma’s heart stumbled. He quickly got to work, taking his new console out of the box, connecting wires, and of course ignoring the manual like he always did.

The game’s upbeat tune was already playing from the TV when Shouyou came back with the entire pie still in the pan and two forks.

“No plates?” asked a confused Kenma, as he fiddled with the unfamiliar controller.

“Why bother? We’re gonna eat all of it, aren’t we?” Shouyou flashed a lopsided grin as he handed Kenma a fork. “Come on, taste it, it’s still warm.” Shouyou set the pie down in between them, crossed his legs, and eagerly waited for Kenma to dig in.

Kenma happily obliged him, his mouth was watering after all. He scooped a generous bite onto his fork, and brought it to his mouth. It was still warm, not too sweet but also not too sour, and only a tiny bit of cinnamon. Kenma, suddenly having lost all sense of shame, moaned loudly around his fork.

Shouyou giggled. “Kenma, what will the neighbors think?”

“I don’t care,” he mumbled as he was already reaching for a second bite.

“It’s my mother’s recipe,” Shouyou said as he grabbed his own fork and dug in on his side of the pie, “She was sure I was gonna mess it up, but I guess it turned out alright?”

“Alright? It’s perfect,” Kenma managed to say in between bites.

Together, they finished the entire pie in no time at all. Kenma had eaten almost three quarters of it, leaving him with a nasty stomach ache. But he took it gladly, because it had been that delicious.

The rest of the day was spent playing video games. The first few rounds Kenma won, of course, but Shouyou was quick to catch up, and by the time it was getting dark, Shouyou ended up with a couple of wins himself.

Shouyou put his controller away and let himself fall to his back, but not before pulling Kenma with him. Kenma ended up halfway on top of Shouyou’s chest. He buried his face in his shirt, and he could still smell the apple pie in the fabric. Shouyou ran his hand through Kenma’s hair, playing with the blond tips. “Did you have fun today?” he asked.

Kenma huffed. Fun was an understatement. Birthdays had always been a hassle for Kenma. He didn’t like being the center of attention, especially if people were expecting you to be all smiles and sunshine on your birthday no matter what. But this day with Shouyou was so unforced, so comfortable, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how he could say thank you. “Shouyou, I–”

“You don’t have to say it, I know. It was my pleasure,” Shouyou said as he stretched. “Besides, I think we should have days like this more often, don’t you think? We could call them Pillows and Pie days, huh? What do you–” Shouyou interrupted his own sentence with a big yawn.

“We could take a nap,” Kenma suggested as he snuggled even closer to Shouyou. If they shared his body warmth, they wouldn’t even need blankets.

“Hmm, great idea, best idea,” Shouyou agreed. “Hey Kenma, look up here.”

Kenma met Shouyou’s eyes and before he could ask what was up, Shouyou smashed their mouths together in a kiss. Kenma made a startled noise, but it got lost in Shouyou’s mouth. Before Kenma could deepen the kiss, Shouyou broke away from him. “I’ve been aching to do that all day,” he whispered against Kenma’s lips, “Happy birthday Kenma.”

Kenma felt a heat creeping up his neck, and before Shouyou could say more embarrassing things, Kenma brought their lips together again.

Kenma wondered if they could outdo this birthday next year, but in his heart he knew that Shouyou would certainly try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at maiuzan.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> find me at maiuzan.tumblr.com


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